Winter is coming

Since day one, im already a cult follower of GOT. Like a lover waiting every week, every month..even a year. Its like they become your past, part of your years. Well, the thing about GOT, its fresh and blunt, like what-you-is-what-you-get story set in a world before everything else. the characters are fresh, raw and even the story. You just dont get hooked on one character, you get to experience different world, emotions along with them. It gives you a high for about 2 to 3 months then leaves you longing again..oh god when will it end. hehe. Ive always been impressed with HBO programming, their series are always the best and to look out for. I still miss "entourage" they're like your normal guy friends who annoys you a lot, but their friendship is inspiring.

I look forward for daenerys rise to the kingdom or probably interact with the others. I know Jon Snow isnt dead..i know he would be brought up from the dead. Hes way too cute to be dead. Lady sanza, i hope they give her more power, we are tired of seeing her cry so much...oh well, il watch it now.

Just one of the nerds

Last year while browsing some upcoming tv shows, i found this tv show Scorpion tv series. Its about a bunch of "highly intellectual individuals"  i.e. nerds. its moreover like based on this highly intelligent guy who was a bit controversial since he hacked NASA on a very young age (Walter O' Brien), well the producers played a bit between the actual person to the fictional one since the guy in the tv show is actually cuter than the real one. (no offense intended)

Anyhow, i've been quite addicted to it. Mainly because i like tv shows where i learn something although most of the time, don't really understand the estimates, physics etc.. but it makes you think. Plus nerdy guys are sexy to me and interesting. 

What would i be like if i did have an IQ of 197, where everything i say is so scientific and always based on data analysis. Now i begin to sound like one. I'd probably more un-dateable.. :)

Symbiotic Sounds

I guess juggling between stress from work, friends and family can sometimes be a bad combination. But it pays to be in a schedule from time to time; you will always get to have a reason to say no to going out. Although i must say the weather is good, and sometimes girls just want to have fun

i did found some good music to fill up the missed blog days and i finished a good book as well.

Found this really cool bands

•  Flowers de moon - psychedelic sounds with playful beats and sultry vocals

• Wild Child - like a country band but with female vocal..one to look out for.

• EXES - with the likes of BANKS and Alina Baraz

And of course while browsing the music media.. i have always been a fan of Carmody since her collaboration with Tom Misch.. (So Close)

It just reminds you the scene while driving after a night out with friends..



" I still find you in my skin.. Can you feel me in your skin...I still find you"

the time is now

its kinda weird since last two days, i cannot stop dreaming of being in another place or country. I mean literally in another country. Well i could tell in my dreams it looked unfamiliar and i am in another side of the world. creepy but interesting. I do have plans of travelling but i did not quite expect it would even haunt in my dreams. i think my subconscious is telling me that the time is now. hell, what am i waiting for, i could take few days off before the next workdays start, why not. its also a good way to think about my life, things that have happened, changes i have been dreading and a routine away from my stressful ever crazy life. i choose to be unattached for now,because i feel if i enter a relationship, i just shook it up and i may have done something wrong considering my past relationships never viewed me as the best forever partner , besides its good to have less stress. Maybe in a few months i will change, but then again, i just wanted a peace of mind and more partying. hehe.

I will go.somewhere. definitely.

on a sabbatical

sabbatical according to google means taking a break for at least a year..whether its a career break or something else. im taking a sabbatical from intimate relationships. No dating for the meantime, meeting people is good or hanging out is good. I have decided because i think i need more time to find myself and get to know what i really want. we all have this phase, but all through this life, being in love has become a habit, the craziness of it probably got me tired. Yeah life is boring without being intimate with anyone, but then i didnt say i wouldnt meet men, only a break from relationships.

i think i have gotten to the point amidst all the heartbreaks, disappointments and unhappy marriages of my friends plus my own personal dramas, has totally worn me out. I guess this would pave the way of giving myself a chance to do my own things , dealing with my own fears and hopefully travelling.

this chaotic life should be fixed, first before anything.

near the shoreline

oh please take me back to the sandy beaches..and morning breeze of salt water..an afternoon commune with sun and ocean.

when life gets tough..one deserves an escape, a break, a chance to unwind.

from the Weekend Tv addict

"Vinyl"

i thought the first episode sucked.. then i watched the second episode then bobby cannavale suprised me with his italian gangster accent almost godfather -like, then i found out playing his wife was Olivia wilde, one of my screen actress crush, ive always loved her in the tv series "house". Here she's most seductive with a mix of gracefulness and a pint of foxiness. Then its all about love for rock and roll and i fall in love to the 70s jimmy hendrix era and led zeppelinish era, a combination any music fanatic would ever dream. thank god for martin scorsese. its never boring.

"Billions"

"when did it become a crime to succeed in this country"

"whats the point of having fuck you money if you never say fuck you"

"how can things that dumb can occupy the same space that i do"

"sometimes you have to make the change blindly and pray that it all goes well"

these lines are sticking with me with the next few months. Damian Lewis, is never boring. Those aqua blue eyes and his manner of delivering smart cool lines as a hedge fund king is just screen candy to watch combined with Malin Akerman's seductive meanness, they're just so fun to watch.  Paul Giammati never goes old, his soft voice with sarcasm is amazing. This is going to be one of my fave financial series second to Suits.



"Lucifer"

Tom ellis has been around, but this time he's really making himself gorgeous enough to a devil. He's seductive and funny at the same time strong egoistic persona is just making any woman melt over. the sex appeal just keeps going on and on through the series. i bet after sometime, men will be wearing suits all around. wow.  Although i must admit, i never liked her leading lady, but then who cares.

After a long drive and a hangover

An epiphany.Sometimes at some point, when we try so hard to control our own lives we tend to break it more. Its like holding on a bottle so tight then suddenly it breaks into pieces. Its like grabbing to a rope so thin, but we put all our weight, on it and we fall...

i must have been so cynical at this life that i have failed at seeing many things in a different perspective. I guess i was used to trying to prove myself to someone else or others that i am always better. But its not like that. It was never like that. I thought life would come up with instructions then i am too stupid to have expected that. Nonetheless let other people run it. Somehow its good to take the backseat for a while. I am tired of driving. literally and probably metaphorically speaking. At some point, you just want to take that backseat of the car and see how other people react to it. No one is really happy, but we find the contentment at ourselves, at the choices we make.

 You realize, the reason your choices fail is because you expect someone will make you better or something will happen to make your life easier or better than its supposed to be. I guess some of us are just too scared to admit how scared they are. I am scared, but i am not weak. Although i am dumb sometimes, but i get by. nobody makes too many mistakes where nobody is perfect.

Oh wonder

one of best things that i like about indie groups, the musicians always produce a raw kind of music which exhibits honest emotions and poetry lyrics.

"oh wonder"- a london based indie pop duo by anthony west and josephine vander gucht. it reminds of the good old pop indie, light to the ears and makes you really feel good while you're driving or just having a time with friends. stress - free music is always good.
i wonder how they got their name though.

things i learned #week1

Things i have learned this week..

- that there is an existing kind of punk band style called "straight edge", where they dont literally drink, smoke or do drugs or even have promiscuous sex. Then they have these teachings of hindu and culture which they follow. Its actually interesting, i mean kinda ironic for a rock band to be away from those things, when they have created it. but its still kinda cool.

- words are precious.

- that Manny Pacquiao can be tactless and start a lgbt war..my thoughts on this issue: well everyone is entitled to their own opinion, i totally respect that. But, the only stupid thing he said is that he tried to be cool and used animals as comparison. ( i dont know who he hired as his PR specialist, but poor guy.) Manny, you have to understand there is free will which separates us from animals, we are able to make our own choices, the mating part is tricky but i think same-sex marriage is not about just having sex with same sex, its still is "marriage" the same sacred sacrament all heterosexuals have, which shows the strongest binding of love, and love should be free for all. whether animals or humans.

- happiness is always the best choice.

- "in order to move on, you have to learn to forgive yourself and the people who have hurt you"

-the Veena is a plucked stringed instrument originating in ancient India, used mainly in Carnatic classical music and Hindustani classical music

- that regardless of any gender or race, we suffer all the same heartbreaks.

- It is time to plan for a vacation

"Chris Lago - Royals"

I just wanted to feel something real
I just wanted to feel L.O.V.E. feel 

Let Go

the Art of love

"the best love is the kind that awakens the soul.." for the hearts day, below are my 10 best movies that truly stuck me..i don't really like love stories, but i have watched the best ones. 

1. of all the gay movies, i liked this one the best, its simple, clean and sweet, but still was heartbreaking.

2. I will never get tired of watching it, love conquers all.

3. ..i think i have already memorized this movie too much..but one of the best ones

5. i just love matthias schoenaerts ..so in love

6. this is where i love marion cottilard ...and i first met matthias..

7. the theme song itself.. is heartbreaking .. "cucuruccu paloma"

8. one of the filipino movies i enjoyed crying at..

9.  i was alone..depressed and i watched this movie..

10. I guess this movie always gives me hope at finding the right one..

Friday Madness

Women. How complicated can we get to be. I am proud to be a woman. We get things done and we can always ask a man to do anything we want. Just kidding.I still believe women are the stronger species, our tolerance for pain is unimaginable especially emotionally. our love is unconditionally beyond anything. our passion is endless. Women can bend the hardest steel. metaphorically speaking.

FKA twigs - Two Weeks

"Higher than a motherfucker, dreaming of you as my lover..

Flying like a streamer thinking of new ways to do each other

pull out the incisor, give me two weeks, you won't recognize her

mouth open, you're high...







I only knew her, because rumor says shes dating the cute robert pattinson (lucky her). Well, why not, i've read somewhere , apparently robert likes indie rock means he has an ear for her kind of music, which is i have to admit very modern, new age. Its like experimental techno with a touch of soul and pop. But pretty original sound, i must say. Even her style is weird but deep, i can imagine what the music of the future generation would be like, having to listen to such fresh and new genre of music, made by young artists with an intimate passion for raw music.

Young Love

My love affair with books started when i was like 7 or 8 yrs old, my father bought an entire collection of encyclopedia, and i used to open them because i didnt have books for young girls, instead i was opening them because i liked the pictures, beautiful dresses in different centuries, different places in different countries. At that time, i wasn't aware they would be affecting me from a young age. Maybe thats why i'm weird, because i have seen many things in books. But I looked at books as a window to another worl, where the story exists, where i am the one watching the events, witnessing each moment and relating to the main character. When i'm reading, especially a good one, the world just stops and i will have to finish it whatever happens. Nowadays, i got hooked on "ebooks", virtual books that can be  read in the mobile or ipad or kindle. Of course, its not as special as the hardbound, but then i like ebooks, because i can get them for free. (will never tell how) I always believed books are meant to be free, it shouldnt be too expensive for anyone. 

 

I used to borrow books in the library during my young days, and i would always have trouble returning them back. Because of that the library staff already knew who i was, and eventually i became one of the library volunteers. It was good because i could borrow as many books as i can. ( normal students could buy only 2) and also i can take my time as much as i want . We didnt have enough money to spend on books i like and i remember trading books with my friends. Now, im collecting ebooks, and sharing it with friends.

I grew up with stephen king books as my first loves, but while growing up, reading scary stories are scarier than watching one, because you are imagining every line, its much crazier. then i switched to thriller books because i like adrenaline, the kind that keeps you awake, keeps you guessing. Love stories bores the hell out of me, first pages i already know whats gonna happen. however, young adult books have sprung out and i get hooked. maybe its the feeling of being young again, being free to love, to expect anything. unlike when your older, you become a realist.

It started with eleanor and park, young adult fiction story, love story about a red haired plump girl and a korean cutie, what a pair. Its being told so simple, so transparent. Like i could imagine a soft spoken clear voice telling me the story as it happens. the twist in the happens, makes it more applauding. Although i must admit, having young girls read this kind of plot, does alarm me. I mean most young adult stories always are about teenage rebellion.

Then again, does anyone care?

The Danish Girl (2015)

I'm not gay, although sometimes I wish i could be so gay as a clear day..(hehe) but I am not. But my gay friends fascinate the hell out of me. Maybe its their unending sense of humour thus the word gay is synonymous with being flamboyant and "happy", with their colourful lives. Its just fun to be around them sometimes. Although they do have their own dilemmas, heartbreaks as well as "twists and turns". 



I also love gay movies, well its not the sex part that interests me, its the mystery of intimacy between two same organs (i mean to put it graphically in a way)  the connection mystifies me. this movie, about the first transgender summarizes the emotional breakdown of a man about to become a woman, although physically it was difficult, but the character achieves the true essence of a woman, loving unconditionally.



In this movie, I feel Eddie Redmayne deserves an oscar, but then theres many of them to choose from. I could just imagine how incredibly he could keep his composure through the acting process when he's a straight actor acting out a real true to life gay person. I love Alicia Vikander, she's just so gorgeous being swedish and all, she's like an exotic beauty, a sight sore for the eyes.



Truly, when you decide to love someone..you let them go because nonetheless they never belong to you.

Tom Misch & Carmody - So Close

"Stay here and we'll align..your shadow pauses into mine.."  



Now, come on how sweet is that. I really think this song is the sweetest one i've heard. Although for now, Tom Misch and Carmody are indie musicians but I must say, this song was well written almost just like a sweet poetry. Its not pop but its catchy and just intimately sentimental. Just to think that having someone shadow pause into yours, is like the closest thing you can have as a connection, well its not pathetic, oh my god sometimes i'm just so cheesy when it comes to such love songs.  It doesn't sound cheesy, and just absolutely romantic to my ears.

MAJIK - Save Me

" You will never see..you will never turn around.. forever you will be just another..

Save me from me..Won't you save me from me.."



This rare find has been haunting me for weeks now and one of my absolute music for driving. It makes you think, makes you feel you want to stop and stare at an ocean. the cool voice and simple direct lyrics just takes you somewhere. It just makes you, want to be simply,  saved. Saved from ourselves.

Love is a verb

2016. Year of the unexpected things to happen, will happen or might not happen at all. I did have my fairshare of heartbreaks with tears from past yr but sadly, they were all sad memories turned into lessons / something to learn / part of the past - events. My Sweet uncle died ,  my second ex got married and my dog died, which was actually the most heartbreaking. well i guess my dog deserved my tears. Anyhow, but these things will not ruin me, oh no the hell they won't. Tomorrow is chinese new year, officially in chinese calendar ..its year of the monkey for 2016, which is kinda my year, how cool is that..

Last week, my youngest brother sends me a piece of advise via fb messenger, after my love life whining etc. says something like.."with a little effort you could be the master of yourself..blah blah "and then suggests i read "7 habit habits of highly effective people, which at first half..i have learned that you could organize your "paradigm" perception and that love is a verb.

Hmm..now thats one sentence which truly wrecked my brain out. well i guess it answers all my questions in this truly crazy life i have. My mom is truly right, life is how you make it. 

I guess i'm blogging again..the best therapy for a hungry creative soul. hehe